“I don’t have girl friends, I prefer to hang out with guys.”

“I Can’t imagine having a woman as a boss. I can’t even work with ladies, lai lai, tufiakwa!”

“Guys are super cool. Girls? too complicated.”


How many times have we heard things like these? Worse still, how many times have we said things like these? As ladies o. I mean coming from a guy, it will be so easy to tag him ‘chauvinist’ but even girls? When I hear things like these, i laugh. If you can’t have a woman as your superior, you probably want to be a subordinate all your life.

I agree the female gender might be a bit, just a lil bit complicated but really, we were born with sin, must we stay in sin?

If you as a lady cannot have girlfriends, what should happen to the little girl who doesn’t have a voice of her own? Or the lady who admires you from afar? You are someone’s ‘mentor’, someone sees you and believes that things can get better, though you may never know. There’s a girl somewhere, who really wants the gift of your friendship but since you can’t handle ‘drama’, you may never know what could have been.


Me, I am not one of those who can’t stand ladies (biko i no be lady?), i have girlfriends, and i love, love them with their drama, noise and all. For me ehn, the drama is even the fun part. Don’t get me wrong, I have guys as friends as well, amazing guys I must say, but some things are meant just for my girlfriends. I am not one of those who believe in gender equality. We are not equals. A man can do what he can do and a woman can do what she can do, “What a man can do, a woman can do better” is so not my ‘thing’. I just don’t get why ladies will sit down all day and complain about fellow ladies or why a lady boss will delight in making a subordinate’s life difficult. And is that so common or what?

All to show we are not mates in every sense of the word? Or what’s that slogan again? Give ’em some attitude?

Guess what darling, if you must give her some ‘attitude’ to prove a point, you are not so different from her after all.

Really, must we always prove a point? must people complain when a woman is ‘up there’?

You know if these things happen amidst unbelievers, it might be easy to overlook  but even in the midst of Christians? People who are supposed to love others no matter what? People who should shine in this dark world? Where then is our faith?

If I still find it difficult to say hi to the girl next door just because she has never greeted first, I think my faith should be questioned.

If I must give the lady at work a piece of my mind whenever she ‘runs’ her mouth, I just can’t take nonsense, I say to myself. Well, my Christianity might just be a title.

If I can’t stop carrying tales about a particular ‘bad’ girl in church or wherever, I should check my life to see if I am actually perfect.

If I still tell myself, ‘I don’t have anything against her really, but I can never speak to her again, ever!’, I probably need to define my own version of Christianity.

Sometime ago, I called together some ladies in Church and I suggested we pick prayer partners and start praying for each other about deep stuffs. A particular lady told me she couldn’t be involved because some ladies were included. She told me the last time she tried sharing some deep stuffs about herself with them, third, fourth and fifth parties had one or two things to say about her life and of course, they told her the source of their information.

Really? That bad huh?

I know some ladies though, perfect examples I must say. Ladies who have been redeemed, women who can look back and say indeed, old things have passed away. Ladies who quarrel today and make up today, bosses who gist with subordinates as though they were on the same level, that is not to say the job should suffer, it’s all about striking a balance.

Say hi, give genuine compliments, be friendly, apologise, be grateful, it doesn’t hurt anyone really.

It’s very easy to judge others, to dwell on their negative side and complain all day. But really, is there a perfect one?

In Jesus’ words, ‘Let (s)he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone.’

It’s that simple really. No one is perfect, we all need grace.

Christianity is not a destination after all, it is a journey.

One of the things I want to do with my life is to make life easier for the sister next to me, to encourage sisters like me, to hold a feeble hand up. A gentle word, a kind act can make a world of difference.


It’s this simple, a little girl without help or support can be destroyed easily, a lot of things can go wrong with her life and when she comes across a grown woman who is successful, she feels something stir within her, it’s called hope. Don’t act like it does not concern you, because it does.

It might not be so easy, it might take just a little effort, but it’s not impossible. Some of us are temperamental, we just can’t stand people who are not as smart or as intelligent as we are. Well, here’s the good part: With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can do all things. Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit remember? The fight against flesh is a constant battle, we must never give up!


I have a boss who is a lady. You cannot imagine the things I heard about her at first. I did not care, I told the tale bearers I could work with anyone. I’ve discovered she is a nice person, the work gets to her sometimes though, but she ain’t bad. Instead of joining the gossip mongers, I prefer to tell them how wonderful she is. They look at me as if I’m crazy or something, I don’t really care, that’s my opinion. It is so easy to complain about others, but the easy path is not always the right path.


When we hang out with our friends, we shouldn’t just discuss the latest fashion or gossip like our whole life depended on it, we should share deep stuffs as well. Our friends should see us as people who can be trusted with secrets. People should come to us when they are down knowing the joy of Christ in us is infectious.

Next time you are tempted to be envious of someone, you can just try to be close to the person. Sometimes, we see what we want to see in people and not who they really are. When you are tempted to complain about the ‘bad’ side of others, try saying what you wish to see in them instead or talk about the good part of the individual. It’s not being delusional, it’s called ‘calling things that be not as though they were.’

Yeah I know women are wired differently bla bla, I know it is not possible to change everyone at once but we can start with ourselves, one lady at a time and hopefully, we can change our world.


The Holy Spirit in the life of a believer makes all the difference. Make friends, (Guys, girls), help people, let your light shine that people may see you and know that women can be ‘up’ there and make things happen without shoving it down people’s throats.


The world is dark enough as it is. Dare to be different, dare to shine.

Yes we can. Yes we will!!

I hope you got something from my ramblings? Don’t just run off, drop your comments below. Share your thoughts with others, let’s know how we can help one other.


Enjoy the rest of your weekend Sweethearts, enjoy life, build strong relationships and remember to be a blessing to a sister.

Plenty Love.

Image Credits: Google.

14 thoughts on “Girlfriends…

  1. Thanks so much for this write up. We all are guilty of what you’ve just shed light on but it’s good to know that not all women are the same and even if you think some of them are difficult,it might be their ‘attitude’ towards you and not their personality which you can change.kudos thumbs up. Have a great week


  2. For many years, I was jealous of other women and bitched about it – even as a Christian.

    It all changed in 2009, when I attended a women’s development workshop with 20 other women. It transformed my life and thinking.

    In the group, there were pretty women. Fashionable ones in 6 inch heels. Young women who were higher up than me in my organisation. All sorts. In the end, what emerged was the things we had in common. Our struggles were ALL the same. I was in shock.

    Total shock! What it showed me was things aren’t always obvious. It made me more observant. More sensitive to women. To their individual struggles.

    Most of all, it stirred up compassion and a desire to help. To this day, I coach and mentor women the world over. I volunteer without waiting to be asked.

    My desire is to make a difference in this world. This life.

    Thank you for sharing this. In your honesty and your passion. We’re here to help each other. Let’s do it!


  3. Awwww Riboscorner, right now, I’m like why didn’t I interview this woman before putting this post up?
    I will be back though, hopefully.
    As in ehn, real women deal with real issues. Forget about the foundation etc, all na packaging.
    And the kind of energy we expend on arguments on gender equality and all ehn, if we spend just half of it on fellow sisters ehn…

    This comment is the perfect finish I was waiting for.

    Thank you darling, for sharing a part of yourself with us. Trust me, you just answered someone’s questions. Really, we need to get over this ” me and mine” attitude already. The things we do for ourselves disappear when we are gone but the things we do for others remain with them even after we are long gone.

    I hope to be in one of your mentorship programs someday. Till then, gracias!!


  4. for me, have always, somehow being led to gret godly girlfriends. don’t have none of the backstabbing things cuz the Holy Spirit helps me to chose my girlfriends wisely.. but I do love all women, backstabbing ones et al, if need be, I will speak to them cuz its truly my desire that we have more women for Christ.
    we should all lift each other up, no need for the hate


    • You my dear are a lucky somebody. We should quit complaining and try to do things better jare. The world is waiting. Thank you dear for your comment.


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