Archive | May 2013

Will you marry me?

Will you marry me???

Four very simple yet important words in the life of every single girl. Flash back to when you were a little girl, you would carry your dolls around and pamper them as though they were real babies, then act like mummy and daddy with the next door neighbour’s son. One cannot help but wonder, what business does a little girl have with marriage? It’s this simple, she sees daddy and mummy and thinks that’s what happens to all grown ups so it’s just natural to think along that line. Whether a girl is 18 or 28, marriage is something we all hope for, especially the ‘happily ever after kind’. Now, the big question is this, should it be kept at the ‘hope level’ or are there steps to be taken? For those of us who don’t understand yet, let me elaborate, should we sit by and wait for prince charming to come on a white horse, go on a knee, and bring out a little cute box from his pocket then reveal the diamond studded ring? You get it now? The guy is on his bended knee, hoping with everything in him, that it’ll be a yes, the girl is clearly surprised, with tears in her eyes, she screams yes! Now, who doesn’t want something like this?

I saw a friend’s display picture sometime ago, it was a screen grab. I guess she had asked a friend of her’s, a guy, how he would propose to his girl and here’s his response.
‘I will take her to a place we’ve not been to before, pre arrange for them to give us poor service, get very upset and ask her to pay the bill, with the receipt comes the ring, then go down and ask if she’ll have me?’
How about proposals on birthdays and val’s day? Who is that lady that will not be swept off her feet with good romance?

The truth however is this, as long as everything ends well, everyone is happy, as the saying goes, all is well that ends well. But what happens when everything does not happen as hoped? Who will start the building of a house without first counting the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it? If you ask me, I really don’t understand why a lady will go into a relationship without a vision or a good enough reason only to be hoping that one day, it’ll lead to marriage. If we have to consider age here, if everything crumbles, won’t the age remain the same? Will the circumstance reduce it? Where there is no vision, the people perish. Note, the scripture says people, not just one person. So if you are in a relationship without a vision, if anything happens, just know that the guy won’t perish alone. I think we really need to save ourselves from some unnecessary heartaches!

Have you heard of relationships that broke up after 9 or more years? I mean relationship, not marriage! The worse thing is the lady is always at the receiving end, it’s always easier for a guy to move on with his life. You hear ladies say things like, ‘I just pray he pops the question very soon, else….’ For how long shall we continue like this? What if he doesn’t pop the question? What happens then? That’s when you hear ladies say things like, ‘all guys are the same’ but is that really true? I’ve met ladies that know what exactly they want out of life, such ladies will not allow any man to waste their time. They speak up from the onset that they are not ready to start a relationship just for the fun of it. They know if it won’t go anywhere, it’s not worth starting at all!

The importance of communicating with God cannot be over emphasised here. The heart of man is desperately wicked, who can know it? Truth is a man can say one thing today and do another thing tomorrow, but if you have the back up of God, then you have all you need.
Some of us Christians hide under the cover of ‘spirituality’ and fail to do what should be done or how do you explain a ‘spirit filled brother’ hopping from one lady to the other, saying he discovered the previous lady wasn’t the one for him? My issue here is not with guys, it is with the ladies, why should you do something because God has supposedly spoken to someone about it? If God has spoken to him, He can speak to you too, if you have a listening ear. The spirit of man, is the candle of the Lord, He can lead and direct anybody through their spirit. You don’t have to learn the hard way, as my little sis would say, ‘don’t be a learner!’

Some of us hold unto chords that should be severed, we tell ourselves it’s impossible to live without a particular person because of what we’ve done or being through together. Forcing yourself on a man is never the way out, and a desperate woman is bound to make mistakes. If you don’t agree with me, just take a good look around, I’m sure there’s a couple that will convince you.

For those that are yet to go into a relationship, please be sure you are doing the right thing from day one, that way you don’t have to hope that all will end well, you are certain that it
will. Trust me, it’s easier to talk about what you want from the beginning, than after a few month or years. That way, the guy at least knows what he is bargaining for. Also to those who have gotten a king already but are still re shuffling the cards, be careful, you might just end up with a joker!

I know the issue with most of us is not that we don’t know what to do, we just want to be sure about everything, even things that are yet to happen. Think about it, if you have all the answers you seek, what will you need God for? Being a Christian simply means trusting God! It’s not just a title, it means having total and unwavering faith in God! It means believing He will do it simply because He has said it! The green light is what you need, to go, then instructions to guide you on the way.

Stop hoping and start talking, you’ve got just this life to live!