I read this piece and it made me laugh, I hope you’ll enjoy reading it too. Though it’s rather long, its worth reading to the very end. Ladies, read on and be sure to share with the guys you know.
CHRISTIAN BROTHERS, THE ART OF LOVING AND US.
By Adebola Adeoye.
In some of my deepest and most real conversations with a number of ‘christian’ brothers, I am brought face to face with the grievance they have against ladies, particularly ‘christians’. They think I could have an answer because I host ladies like myself to meetings, and outings where we share on issues ranging from weight to God, sex, emotions, make up, the future and the men of our dreams, not necessarily in that order.
Anyway, the grievance is ‘why do the good girls fall in love with the ‘bad’ guys?’ I am sure you’ve heard the lingo before now, they say after being good, caring, true, faithful and responsible, you still find many sweet hearts falling in love with those ‘hooligans’ but hey, who said a woman is your reward for choosing a religious ideology?
Just why would a lady go ecstatic about the ‘not too bad guy’, when ex-campus fellowship presidents and many ‘spirit’ brothers await her love? The answer is close by; really, it’s not hard to see or is it? Why won’t a woman fall in love with a man who knows the rhythm of her heart and paints the rainbow on her soul? Someone who doesn’t treat her like a piece of conviction or an apparatus to gauge his self-control!
Sometime ago, a friend of mine shared her gruesome experience in the hands of her HOD in church. The brother had apparently ‘received’ her as his wife, so he summoned her to a two-man crusade to reveal the will of God. After fireworks prayer and a lot of scripture quoting, he outlined his convictions to her and went ahead to warn against the consequences of disobedience, sighting the inappropriate example of Jonah in the belly of the fish. I thought the art of asking out had gotten spicier? If you have a strong spiritual anchor as the foundation of your choice, please keep it as a guarded secret!!! Just say what you want and why you do! Tell me why you will choose me a hundred times over and over above all the ladies in the world!
On the other hand, the ‘not-too-good guy’ takes his lady to the cinema, expends some resources and gives her a cheering treat. It’s not so much about the movie, salted popcorn or bowl of strawberry ice cream, but the atmosphere he builds around her. With every word, touch on the shoulder, bat of the eyelid and boyish grin he passes to her, he whispers admiration; he simply makes a queen out of a woman. Now, don’t tell me these are not the things that count and whether or not the promises will be kept is an entirely different matter.
How many times have we grumbled to one another during our girl times, on why we keep receiving ‘Spiritual books’ as gifts at every weary opportunity to convince us of their love? In fact, depending on the memory of the brother involved, you can receive more than a copy of the same book! The most famous are, ‘The Power and Purpose of a woman’ by Myles Munroe, ‘The Power of a Praying Wife’ by Stormie Omartian, ‘Woman thou art loose’ by T.D Jakes, ‘The Battlefield of the Mind’ by Joyce Meyer and ‘The Woman after God’s heart’ by Elizabeth George. If you are privileged to date brothers from the deeper side of the divide, you will be blessed with gifts such as ‘A Man God uses’ by Gbile Akanni, ‘Woman thou art loose’ by Dr. D.K. Olukoya, ‘Mother in Israel’ by Pastor Folu Adeboye or ‘The Effective Ministers’ wife by Pastor Faith Oyedepo.
We ought to grow into ‘women of God’ but aren’t there other pretty, simple and alluring gifts that could go along to bring out the lady in a woman? I recognise you might need more crispy notes. How about white diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor, Secret by Elizabeth Arden, Summer Cocktail by Givenchy? Or pieces of Caribbean Bracelets, Arabian shawls, Sunshades by Police, Jeans by Wrangler, Girly shirts by Davida, Office wears by Curtis, Night and Day by Mary Kay, a treat to the spa or sunlight hours at the beach?
Why treat her like a bundle of temptation, a test you must pass as a display of your spirituality? What about a pat in the back, a squeeze in the hand, a warm hug, a kiss on the fore head or a stroke on her hair?
Delani, a young married man – is not your regular ‘divine brother’. He’s been there, done that and sees life as one huge party! Married for about four years, with a son and awaiting another, he still calls his wife some intriguing names. I must have heard a lot but these ones stuck- Pepperoni, Sweet Yummie, Babe mi, Omoge, My one in a billion, Lovey Dovey. I imagine some people already squinting in irritation; ‘na your own be that’! Well, this guy makes a wonder out of his wife!!!
I could forgive a man for being overly dramatic in his display of affection to his beau, but I can’t help but seethe at chaps who are too proud, dull or primitive to adorn their women in robes of noble admiration. Have you heard pet names like, ‘Mummy, Iya yi, Madam, Sister Nneka or our wife?’
I understand that Christian ladies are belaboured by the inclination of their men to make prophetic declarations into their lives, using Bible quotes. So they earn names like ‘Beulah, Hephzibah, Delightsome, My Crown, Righteous, Jewel, Pure Diadem…etc. Yes Lord!!! What can we say to these things?
Have you ever seen the picture of a ‘sister’ and a ‘brother’? Particularly the ones they take in the studio? You haven’t? One glance at the shot and many things jump at you. You see bridled dreams, confused expectations, unspoken desires and many invisible boundary lines. His hand is resting uneasily on her shoulder; he tries to lean a bit forward with a nervous grin with the other hand behind his back and secrets in his eyes. And then, you have Sister Florence, sitting on the edge of the high stool with a shy smile, waiting for the future!
I don’t have all the answers to making a woman happy, but to make her heart sing, you’ve got to bring some zest to the table. A woman thinks a lot about the guy who makes her laugh hard, she grows fond of he who sings her favourite love song and dedicates it to her. She wants to remember the sound of your heartbeat when you said all will be fine and she’d like to be surprised by new things almost every time…
O yes – let godly ladies choose to build a future with men who love God and understand the covenant. At least, no one wants to be daughter-in-law to the Devil. But we look forward to a new day without the traumas of men unschooled in the affairs of the heart.
We like it when you love Jesus yet get us rocking!!!