…Not one shall lack her mate…(Isaiah 34:16, NKJV)
Remember those days when you were young? (When I say young, I mean between the ages of 14-18 there about). Those days when boys will do anything just to get your attention? Those days were fun! After all, we were just teenagers, with no care in the world. Some of us were head turners, we attract boys just like sugar attract ants. Some of us were not head turners but there is no denying the fact that at least a guy paid you serious attention then either in reality or in your head (lol). Some of us enjoyed the attention so much that we kept on changing boyfriends the way a baby changes diaper, some of us believed we were going to get married to our boyfriend and live happily ever after, some others did not even have time for boys at all, they are nothing but distractions, we say. If you were like me, you would have read a lot of novels; harlequin, silhouette, R&B and what have you and they made us believe so much in ever after’s. You know, the type where the beautiful girl ends up marrying the handsome guy and they live happily ever after. The dramatic ones thought of themselves as cinderella, waiting for Prince charming, on a white horse. Ten years down the line, you’ve moved from fantasy world to real world and you are still single and can’t help but wonder where all those boys are? You have a well paying job, a nice house, a beautiful car of your own but no man of your own and you are wondering, ‘what is wrong with me?’ People see your life and your achievement and wonder why you are not happy. They tell you if only they have half of what you have, they will be so happy, so how come you are not happy? It’s even worse if you don’t have a good job, people tell you to your face or behind your back that you need to be ‘delivered’, how come you don’t have a good job and you are still single? Something is wrong somewhere. Remember your last birthday? You got calls from your uncles and aunts that you’ve not heard from in a year, telling you that they are still waiting to eat your rice. Your mum reminds you every time she has the opportunity to that you are not getting any younger, your biological clock is working 24/7. While you are thinking about all these, you got a call from Sandra, your room mate in school reminding you about her wedding coming up in a month’s time and the cloth you are yet to pay for as a friend of the bride. Of course you can’t say you are not interested, or what are friend’s for? By the way, Yewande your little sis that got married three years ago has a cute little boy and she’s even expecting another baby. Her little son likes you a lot and can’t stop shouting your name ‘Aunty Desola’ the last time you met in your parents place. The little boy is so innocent but the ‘aunty’ is just another reminder of your marital status, as if you need to be reminded. You’ve tried to be friendly with guys but it ain’t working, seems all the good ones are taken. Your heart cries out anytime you are with a friend of the opposite sex but no one hears. All your friends in school are now married and they tell you your wedding is the next on the list. You laugh it off, but in your mind, you wonder if there is an invisible groom somewhere waiting to be joined to you. Thanks to BBM, you have no other choice but to know how well your friends are doing in their marriage. For every dp change, you are reminded of your ‘status’ and the fact that your friends have gone a step ahead of you. You don’t mind really, but what do you do about those intimidating pm’s? You are even very active in church, you love God but people think there is a ‘secret sin’ in your life or why else will God not give you a husband? Even unbelievers get married every saturday! For how long is this supposed to go on??? For how long are you supposed to keep your hope alive??? There is just so much anyone can take!
So many ladies are weighed down by this thought. So many of us are tired of being single but it seems God has forgotten us or he has just chosen not to do anything about it. We worry and fret all day, but still nothing has happened. Remember the last time you called your child hood friend, but she couldn’t pick up because she was busy with the baby? Or the day you were supposed to hang out with your best friend (now married), only for her to opt out at the last minute explaining to you that her husband needs her right now. She apologises and hopes you understand. Understand? Of course you do not understand but who cares? Never mind the fact that you’ve been planning the meeting for the past 4 weeks. People tell you having a man of your own is not a guarantee for happiness but as far as you are concerned, you are not happy without a man! In moments like this, what do you do?
It takes a little, just a little faith, as little as a mustard seed to forge ahead in times like this. It takes a heart yielded to God not to be envious of these friends that have gone ahead and it takes a heart rooted in God’s word not to worry. Think about it, if you worry from today till tomorrow, will it solve anything? ‘Will all your worries add a single moment to your life or will it give you the man you so desire? If God cares so much about plants and birds of the air that He created with just a word, will He not take care of you that He took His time to create with His own hands?’ (Matt 6:27,30)
It is common knowledge that ‘if you give God first place in your life, He will add ALL other things unto you, even a man after His own heart.’ (Matt 6:33)
Instead of worrying or enjoying your pity-party, why not decide to get busy with your life? Shouldn’t you get to know yourself now, build up your strengths, and work on your weaknesses? Shouldn’t you get to know what you were created to do? Shouldn’t you decide to know this God personally instead of through a third party? As Dr Myles Munroe rightly said, ‘If you knew everything about you, would you marry you?’ That’s a question worth thinking about! Instead of waiting all day for Mr Right, why not work on becoming Miss Right and see if Mr Right won’t come along, birds of a feather they say, flock together. Bible says ‘he who finds a wife finds a good thing’. Note, it didn’t say he who finds a babe, or a socialite, or a career woman, or a prayer warrior, or a cook but he who finds a wife! To be a wife, you need to be all these, not just one and many more. Are you ready?
You say but I’m fed up, I can’t cope anymore, God says, ‘cast all your cares on me, for I care for you'( 1 peter 5:7)# ‘worry about nothing but with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, make your requests known.’ (Phill 4:6)
You say all my friends are married, when will it be my turn? I’m not sure I can get a good man, God says, ‘since I did not spare my only son, but gave him up for you, won’t I also surely give you EVERYTHING else? (Rom 8:32#) For I will supply ALL your needs, even your own man, according to my riches (think about how rich I am in that regard since I created all men) in glory!’ (Phill 4:19)#
You say when will that happen? I’m tired of waiting. God says, ‘I make ALL things beautiful but in my own time. If it must be beautiful, the timing will be mine, not yours.’ (Ecc 3:11)#
You say I need strength, I can’t do this on my own, God says ‘I give power to the tired and worn out and strength to the weak. Even the youths shall be exhausted and the young men will give up but they that wait upon the Lord shall have their strength renewed…’ (Isaiah 40:29-31)#.
So, here is the conclusion of the whole matter, relax, enjoy your single life and rest in His promise, ‘…Not one shall lack her mate, for the mouth of the Lord has commanded it…’
Scriptures marked # are para phrased.